Dear Rebels,
How is your Monday Mojo? Hmmmmmmm? Be honest!
Are you feeling like January is dragging on just a little bit too long or are you wintering well?
I must admit I feel a little Schizophrenic on that front lately. One minute I am loving the long cold walks, root veggie soups and slow life, the next I am hating the dark early nights, ice box like chilliness of my tiled Ibiza floors and looking at flights to the SunShine! I can´t lie! Just me ?
Making things is helping A LOT however! For me, the only way through is to keep fuelling the creative fires and I am proud to finally release this brand new music podcast episode of Beat Wala with Kidnap, formerly known as Kidnap Kid, who I was introduced to only last summer, but who became my most listened to artist within just a few short months of the whole year.
It is quite hard to decide exactly what it is that Matt has encapsulated in his latest record, Something Lost, Something Gained, but probably a nod to the feeling we all have as we get older that life changes slowly at first, but suddenly quite noticeably.
Our friendships become a little harder to maintain in the way they once were with endless hours to kill, travelling tales and adventures and real quality time together.
Life gets busier, pressures and stress increases and we are forced to grow up and show up for those we love and care for.
I travelled to London for this particular episode and recorded it at Somerset House Studios where I always used to go to see gigs when I worked for BBC 6 Music as a music journalist.
So many many gigs, but the most memorable was with Amy Winehouse in 2007.
You can catch a glimpse here. Such a raw talent, I was absolutely enthralled and jumped at my chance to go and see her play in St Lucia at the Jazz festival a few years later and do some LIVE Radio pieces for BBC 5 LIVE, Radio 2 as well as BBC online.
What I wrote still lives HERE in written format and the audio piece I created for BBC Radio HERE. I would say this is probably one of my biggest regrets in journalism in so many ways but also one of my biggest lessons.
Everyone thought she was back on form, after pictures of her were splattered across the papers here, looking a picture of health on the Carribean island.
Rumours surfaced she had set up a studio there and was working on the follow up to her 2006 album, Back to Black.
As I arrived on the Island I actually almost ran into her, tanned, long limbed and looking so good and like she had gained weight, which made me so happy to see.
I realised she was staying 2 cottages along in the 5 star complex I had been flown out to cover the gig from.
From my upstairs roof terrace, I could see her out on hers, smoking and chatting to friends, her band and a very big bouncer. I didn´t dare or really desire to pop over to say Hello, despite being told to by my editor every day I was there.
Speaking to the Tourism Minister for the island, I was told she was getting along famously with locals and as a thank you, had offered to headline the Jazz Festival.
However, with the world's media looking on that night, including me, with high expectations, Amy appeared to have morphed into her old London self.
In an instance, gone was the healthy sparkle and in its place a wobbly, glassy eyed mess. I felt so sad. Heart broken in fact and while vox popping after the show ended rather abruptly, as she could not carry on, there was a lot of anger in the crowd.
But all I felt in my heart, was that Amy was not born to perform. It isn't not something she appeared to enjoy as she clearly had to get smashed before every gig.
Which brought me to the question, “should we push through to be on stage?” Even If it feels terrifying? Alien? Makes us feel physically ill at the prospect?
Personally, I have done exactly that, overridden fears and walked through the baptism of fire to face my biggest fear and what lies on the other side, is usually liberation. Total and utter elation. But thats not the case for everyone. Clearly.
I felt crushed to have made Amy feel any worse about her performance in St Lucia and to publish crowd reactions, but that was my Job. One I have had a love and hate relationship with over the years. One I still struggle with now, but still feel such a passion for. I am so grateful podcasting allows me to choose my own storytelling, my own guests, to be my own editor and to decide what gets to be told and what does not.
Podcasting feels like a pirate form of radio really. I grew up on Pirate Radio in my bedroom as a teenager and feel grateful. So grateful for the intimate rebellious act that so many audio obsessives like me, got to feel a small part of, just by listening!
So, this brings me to my next piece of news, I have a new Radio show starting on Openlab very soon! I will be interviewing our Tedx Dalt Vila speakers over an hour and finding out the soundtracks to their Ibiza lives, work, passion and life style here on the island.
We start with the islands most famous architecht: Rolf Blakstad. We had a lovely chat.
But what amazed me most? That despite his notoriety, incredible stature on the island, amazing creative process and being one of the real ones who grew up here and who has an actual lineage? He was so nervous about the interview and doing his talk in March.
I attended the very first rehearsals on Friday last week and it is clear that the talks are going to be incredible and I can´t wait to host them on stage again as the host of the whole day. But it just goes to show, NO ONE, has got this thing down.
We all struggle with self doubt, imposter syndrome, nerves, anxiety of what people will think and that old question are we really good enough to stand on stage and perform?
I think that we all just need to try it at least once in this lifetime.
Thats my humble opinion on the matter.
I shall leave you with that thought and also news my website has re-launched with new podcast courses, A workshop in March on “How to tell better stories,” and….COMING SOON a podcast and storytelling and performance RETREAT right here in Ibiza!
See you again very soon Rebels, Thank You for reading and indulging me once again,
Love,
Jo
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